Weakness....

It's been one of those weeks. Heck, it's been one of those months.
Ivey is having trouble behaving in class.
Riley is showing no sign of becoming potty-trained any time soon (and she has to be 100% potty trained by August in order to start preschool-no pressure).
Work is swamped.
My house is a pigsty.
Blah blah blah.

I find myself getting bogged down by all of these things. All of these tiny, insignificant things that I won't even remember in a few months. I am sure I'll have moved on to other tiny, insiginificant things. I try with all my might to not worry. To "don't worry about anything; pray about everything". I really really do. But I know it is weighing me down because I am tired, grouchy and generally no fun. When life catches up with me, I become a victim to my "bad" emotions. I gripe, yell and think ugly thoughts. I don't stop to enjoy things. I am too busy trying to make sure things run well and I concentrate more on my checklists than my life. I let my life run me, not the other way around.

I was driving to work the other morning feeling grouchy because our morning routine was its usual crazy, hectic, running behind self. (Oh, and also I didn't get my morning mug of coffee because someone who shall remain nameless messed it up.) All I could think about was how irritated I was. How out of control I felt. How I felt like I was drowning in stress, exhaustion and grouchiness. And then, out of nowhere, a certain piece of Scripture popped into my head. That doesn't normally happen with me. I'll take it as a gift from the Holy Spirit.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I've always liked this verse but on this particular day it hit my right between the eyes. And it hit me directly in my heart. I am weak! So so weak.

And that's just how it's supposed to be.

I cannot rely on my own energy, efforts or talents to do anything well. The only way that I can do anything of value on this earth is to be weak. I can let God fill me with His power. I don't have to do it all. I'm not designed to do that. And when I recognize that God is in control of my life (not me!), it is so much easier. I am glad that I don't have to be in control. I don't have to have all the answers. I don't have to be anything I'm not.
I can just be me.
Weak me. Who can "...boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me".
Thank you Lord!
"For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 10b